Accomplishing Escapism

 I am so phenomenally frustrated with one particular person that I needed to take two minutes of my day to tell you about it.

1. I am a professional, and I have been nothing but sympathetic to your problem.  Please stop treating me like a soulless corporate drone.

2. Your paycheck is being taxed by New Jersey because it is a PAYCHECK you EARNED when you WORKED IN NEW JERSEY.  I understand that tax laws may be a new and scary thing to you, but this is simply how the world works.

3. The more you yell at me to fix your check amount, the less sympathetic I become and the more likely I am to transfer you to the partner in the office who is the least likely to take your bullshit.

4. Yes, you are the person who started the class action.  No, this does not entitle you to special treatment.

I need a better angry icon.

I went to see two apartments yesterday with my supposed future roommates, and I learned two very valuable things: 

1. My budget concerns are Not The Same as theirs, and

2. They are both ready to move yesterday.

I'm frustrated, because I definitely talked to Rachel and made absolutely clear that the job I will be starting pays $8.25 an hour, and that my price range for rent was going to be between $300 and $400 a month.  One of the places we saw yesterday was $1900 and the other was $1800, neither of which included utilities - apparently Rachel never communicated my financial concerns to the third girl who's involved in all of this (a friend of Rachel's from work who I have met all of twice), and Natasha was looking for places starting at $1500 and moving way up from there.  When I mentioned my concerns Natasha got snippy, throwing out a "Wll, I didn't know we had such tight money restraints" etc.  Which pissed me off, because it's a valuable concern and even though I had thought Rachel and I were agreed on our price range, she obviously didn't tell Natasha.

The second concern I have is that I am simply not ready to move.  I've been home for just over a month, and the idea of rushing out of my parents' home is extremely stressful to me.  I don't intend to live here forever, but the timeline Rachel and I had discussed implied to me that we wouldn't actually be moving until sometime in the fall.  By then I would be ready - I'd have a bit of money saved up, I'd be acclimated to being in town, and so forth.  And now they're both ready to fork over the deposit for this place, and move in like next week, and I simply cannot do that.

I'm angry and a little hurt by the fact that I thought Rachel and I were on the same page, and we're obviously not.  The fact that I talked to her about my constraints and concerns, and the fact that they are being ignored, makes me feel like I'm a tagalong on this whole venture and that it's really about what THEY want (which is a little insulting because I was the one who first brought up the idea of living together with just Rachel, and Natasha is a last-minute addition). 

I'm not looking forward to the conversation I have to have with them today, because they were SO in love with the place we looked at.  But on top of the money and timeframe, it would land me with an hour commute to work, there aren't any grocery stores in the area and none of us has a car, and they don't allow pets, I have solid reasons why this is a bad choice for me.  I dropped the ball a bit when I didn't communicate this to them yesterday, but frankly I didn't want Natasha up in my face again after her shit-fit about my salary.  I'm going to tell Rachel that we're in vastly different places and that I think it would be better if the two of them looked for something to suit their needs, and I'll sit tight until October or November when I can do this without causing massive emotional and financial trouble for myself.  Which I think is frankly more than fair.